The other day while I was getting into my shoes to go for my evening walk, my teenage son asked if he could join me. I happily welcomed him and we both set off. For a while, we talked of routine stuff, his studies, college friends, food, his new haircut. But I could sense that there was something more he wanted to discuss. It was not usual for him to take a walk with me, as he found walking very slow and sedentary, very “oldie kinda concept”, in his own words. I played along gently, giving him the comfort to open up and talk about the thing that was bothering him.
Finally he asked, ” Ma, how does one handle jealousy?” I took a few deep breaths as I processed his question in my mind, smiled inwardly that it was not such a catastrophe I had been bracing myself for and decided to share my wisdom and understanding of this concept called jealousy.
Jealousy is a relative of envy, I said. Very often, when you see something in another person, which you want to have, but don’t, you feel envious. You unconsciously wish you had it too. After a while, you forget about it and move on to other things, busy in your own life. But, sometimes, you cannot forget and move on. Its absence in your life begins to bother you . It continues to bother you and the botheration becomes so acute that you decide to rid the other person of its joy. You could have focused on developing that quality in you, but you take the easier option.
So, my son, I said, the only way to handle jealousy is to improve your quality even more! Rise higher and do better. It is the should be the fuel for you to raise the bar and enhance your skills! So, actually, your friend’s jealousy towards you can be turned to your advantage! He gave a nod and from his smile I could understand that he could see a path ahead. He gently squeezed my hand and said, “Let me race to the end of the track!” Before I could protest, he sprinted off on the track!!